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“His’n’s pants were so’s tight if’n he’d a farted it’d blow his boots off.”
  • “T' Bacheler”

    strong”T' Bacheler,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Y'all rilly reckon we’ve see t'las rose han'et out? Nairy n' a million yeers. ABC has alreddy tappet thar nex “Bachelerette,” an' we knoe thay’ll have thar eyes peelet fer a hot rejectid mun frum at spinoff ta be t'nex “Bacheler.”

  • “T' Bachelerette”

    strong”T' Bachelerette,” ABC/strong br /
    strongStatus:/strong Lackly ta be renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “Bacheler” Brad’s also-run Emilee Maynard is gittin hern turn as t'rose giv'r fer t'sevanth seesen o'“T' Bachelerette” thishere summ'r. As long as thar air folk willeeun' ta look fer luv un reelitee TV, thishere shoe will keep un truckyun'.

  • “Bodee o'Proof”

    strong”Bodee o'Proof,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “Bodee o'Proof” has bee a'fallin beloe its timeslot competiter, CBS‘s “Unfergettabull,” but it still draws a desent audience an' its fans air verr vocal. ABC has deecided it desurvs a thurd seesen.

  • “Castle”

    strong”Castle,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere shoe’s ratings have definitly sufferet without “Dancyun' Wit t'Stars” airyun' beferehan', but it is a consistent p'rferm'r. And noe at Castle an' Beckett’s relatyunship is evolvyun', a fifth seesen o'“oh yep thay will” is a no-brun'r.

  • “Charlie’s Angels”

    strong”Charlie’s Angels,” ABC/strong br /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Nairy rilly a shock fer innybidy, but “Charlie’s Angels” is cooket. Flimsy stery, bad remake, questyunabull castyun'.

  • “Cougar Town”

    strong”Cougar Town,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewet — fer TBS!br /
    strongWhy:/strong T' Seesen 3 ratings were’t boostid much by holdin thishere shoe until midseesen, but ABC‘s wonky air schedule also didn’t hep … which is why t'noose at TBS has pickt up t'shoe fer a fourth seesen is huge. Cheers wit yer Big Carl!

  • “Dancyun' Wit t'Stars”

    strong”Dancyun' Wit t'Stars,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “DWTS” may have lost its lust'r n' t'ratings, but if'n t'viewers air still a'kummin.

  • “Don’t Trust t'B—- n' Apartment 23″

    strong”Don’t Trust t'B—- n' Apartment 23,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong ABC‘s new bleep-wurthy comedy starryun' Kryste Ritt'r, Dreema Walk'r an' James Vun D'r Beek is a funny one, an' definitly embraces t'quirk (Beek Jeens!), so we’re eggcited ta see whut thay do wit a sekunt seesen.

  • “Desperate Housewives”

    strong”Desperate Housewives,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Aft'r countless deeths, murders, betrayals an' natcherul disasters un Wisteria Lane ov'r t'shoe’s eiite seesons, t'ladys o'“Desperate Housewives” will say goodbye ferever thishere May.

  • “Extreme Makeov'r: Trayler Edishun”

    strong”Extreme Makeov'r: Trayler Edishun,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Cancelet br /
    strongWhy:/strong Aft'r a whoppyun' nine seesons, t'do-goodyun' shoe kum ta un end n' Januree. But wurry nairy, it will a'cantinyah ta have a few specials ta make viewers cry teers o'joy.

  • “GCB”

    strong”GCB,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere “Desperate Housewives”-eskwe dramedy premieret ta less thun 8 million viewers, an' t'phenomenal cas (Kristin Chenoweth, Annie Potts, Leslie Bibb) coultn’t brang n' a Taxas-sizet audience, so ABC cancelet it.

  • “Grey’s Anatomy”

    strong”Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Shonda Rhimes’ medicull drama is a ratings juggernaut, eve n' its eighth seesen, an' wit mos o'hern a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/10/greys-anatomy-elle-pompeo_n_1506113.html?ref=tv” target=”_hplink”big stars sined un fer mer/a, ABC gave t'go-ahed fer a ninth seesen.

  • “Happy Endings”

    strong”Happy Endings,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere shoe is way too “ca-yute” ta bubbull it, an' obviouslee someone high up at ABC agrees. Aft'r its furst seesen wuz movet roun an' airet all out o'ord'r, t'netwerk still gave it anoth'r chance ta find its audience n' Seesen 2 … an' it has, an' hopefullee will a'cantinyah ta n' Seesen 3.

  • “Las Mun A'standin”

    strong”Las Mun A'standin,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus: /strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Ratings fer Tim Alle’s return ta sitcoms have bee verr strong, makin it Tuesdee’s mos-watchet comedy. If'n y'all a'ken beat “Glee” an' “T' Biggest Los'r,” a sekunt seesen is a gif'.

  • “Mun Up!”

    strong”Mun Up!,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong ABC pullt t'shoe aft'r eiite episodes.

  • “T' Middle”

    strong”T' Middle,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Noe n' its thurd seesen, “T' Middle” is still holdin onto its middle posishun n' t'ratings un Winsdee nites, an' at seems jes about rite. It doesn’t do “Amurkin Idol” er “Surviver” numbers, o'corse, but wit ov'r 7 million viewers, it’s a strong comedy fer t'netwerk at easilee beets innythang NBC is offerin.

  • “Missyun'”

    strong”Missyun',” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Ashley Judd lead thishere drama about a ferm'r CIA agent whos sen goes missyun', kickin hern back into acshun ta find 'im. T' series wuz onlee set ta air 10 episodes, miniseries-style, wit t'potenshul fer mer, but a cancellashun meens at’s all thay’re gittin.

  • “Modern Fambly”

    strong”Modern Fambly,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “Modern Fambly” remuns ABC‘s biggest sitcom success stery o't' las decade, bof n' ratings an' awards luv. Thishere critickull darleeun' is gittin a fourth seesen o'hijinks wit t'hilariyus Pritchett-Dunfy clun.

  • “Oncet Upon A Time”

    strong”Oncet Upon A Time,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “Oncet Upon a Time” has gotte praise fer bein one o't' mer fambly-frienly dramas un TV, an' it’s bee a'pullin n' close ta 10 million viewers each week becawz o'it. We’re eggcited by t'almos endless possibilitees fer new fairy tale-inspiret steries ta tackle n' Seesen 2.

  • “Pun Am”

    strong”Pun Am,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Poer “Pun Am” jes nev'r quite took off. T' series’ vintage look ackshly wurked agin it, much like NBC’s swiftlee cancelet “Playboy Club” — guess wen y'all’re bein compard ta award-a'winnin shows like “Mad Menfolk,” it makes it mer thun a lil tough ta lif' up ta t'hype.

  • “Private Practiss”

    strong”Private Practiss,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “Private Practiss” has nev'r gotte “Grey’s Anatomy”-level ratings, an' thangs gut shaki'r wen ABC bumpet it ta Tuesdee nites ta make room fer creeter Shonda Rhimes’ emoth'r/em new shoe, “Skun'al,” but thay’ve gif' t'shoe a sixth seesen ord'r.

  • “Revenge”

    strong”Revenge,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Wit a clev'r mix o'drama, mystery an' seriyus revenge-yun', thishere is han's down one o't' mos addictif' new shows un TV, an' we a'ken’t wait ta see whar thay take thangs n' Seesen 2.

  • “T' Riv'r”

    strong”T' Riv'r,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong T' promiss o'“Paranermal Activitee”-like scares each week quicklee fizzlet aft'r thishere shoe premieret, along wit t'ratings. T' furst seesen’s eiite episodes kum an' wint, an' ABC has nixet inny plans fer mer.

  • “Skun'al”

    strong”Skun'al,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Shonda Rhimes’ latest shoe isn’t about docters at all — an' at’s why we’re glad it’s stickyun' roun. Kerry Washington is amazyun' as Olivia Pope, a Washington, D.C. fix'r wit a crack team o'specialists heppin make bad heedlines vanish befor thay’re ev'r writte. Here’s a'hopin fer mer thun seve episodes n' its sekunt seesen.

  • “Shark Tank”

    strong”Shark Tank,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Noe n' its thurd seesen, thishere reelitee competishun shoe is unlack inny uther un netwerk TV an' ABC is keepin it roun fer mer fer at verr reeson.

  • “Suburgatery”

    strong”Suburgatery,” ABC/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong It’s smart, quik an' nairy too cute — “Suburgatery” is consistantlee namet t'sitcom y'all should be watchin, but probly are’t. T' greet cas makes thishere one a no-brun'r, an' t'ratings have stayet purty consistent, too. We’re thrillet it’s gittin a sekunt seesen ta shine!

  • “Wurk It”

    strong”Wurk It,” ABC/strong br /
    strongStatus:/strong Cancelet br /
    strongWhy:/strong Let us count t'ways …

  • “2 Broke Gurls”

    strong”2 Broke Gurls,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy: /strongAt furst, folk balket at t'racist suppertyun' characters, but noe it seems at audiences air all ov'r “2 Broke Gurls” — it’s ratings have see a steddy increese, an' it won t'Folk’s Choice Award fer Favert New Comedy.

  • “A Giftid Mun”

    strong”A Giftid Mun,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy: /strong”A Giftid Mun’s” total view'r numbers wuz OK fer a Frydee nite, but a 1.3 ratyun' n' t'18-49 demografic is speshly bad fer CBS. Anoth'r bad sign: star Patrick Wilsen tweetid about t'end: “I had a greet time. Thanks ta my fans. So happy it’s done.” And done it is.

  • “T' Amazyun' Race”

    strong”T' Amazyun' Race,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus: /strongRenewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Votid t'bes reelitee shoe un TV sevrul times (albeit yeers ago), “T' Amazyun' Race” isn’t goin innywhar. Ratings have droppet a bit, but air still solid.

  • “T' Big Bang Theery”

    strong”T' Big Bang Theery,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Nuthin seems ta be bull ta make a dent n' thishere shoe. Wit fantastic ratings (it beat “Idol”!) an' a rabid a'followin, we’ll be seein nuff mer “Big Bang” befor its run is ov'r.

  • “Blue Bloods”

    strong”Blue Bloods,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewet br /
    strongWhy:/strong T' ancher o'Frydee nites un CBS, “Blue Bloods” has perfermet well, a'pullin n' roun 11 million viewers un episode. T' shoe mite nairy have t'youngest audience, but it’s still enough fer CBS ta keep it un t'schedule.

  • “Criminal Minds”

    strong”Criminal Minds,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Paget Brewst'r mite be checkyun' out, but “Criminal Minds” is here ta stay. N' Seesen 7, t'procedural is still a consistantlee strong ratings p'rferm'r fer CBS.

  • “CSI”

    strong”CSI,” CBS/strong br /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Whenev'r t'ime kums, t'“CSI” mothership will end wit a slew o'fanfare, but nairy thishere year. Wit new faces Tet Dansen an' Elisabeth Shue roun, thar is goin ta be at leest one mer seesen.br /

  • “CSI: Miami”

    strong”CSI: Miami,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Out o't' three (!) “CSI” programs un t'air, “CSI: Miami” is t'one ta say goodbye furst. T' one-time ratings gyint has bee affectid by football overruns (jes as “T' Good Biddy” has) an' “CSI: NY” has t'edge n' terms o'total viewers, meanin a “Miami” sunset wuz inevitabull. br /

  • “CSI: NY”

    strong”CSI: NY,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong O' t'acoupla “CSI” spinoffs, “CSI: NY” is t'strong'r — a'pullin n' mer thun 10 million viewers un a Frydee nite is no easy task — an' wit “CSI: Miami” cancelet, “CSI: NY’s” renewal wuz a no-brun'r.

  • “T' Good Biddy”

    strong”T' Good Biddy,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere critickull darleeun' sufferet aft'r its move frum Tuesdays ta Sundays thanks ta sperts overruns. T' viewers air frustratid, but gif' its strong cas an' Emmy luv, t'shoe is still a'kummin back fer mer.

  • “Hawaii Fife-0″

    strong”Hawaii Fife-0,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Despite t'scheduleeun' setback as Alex O’Loughlin seeks treetment, Seesen 2 is still a'doin well fer CBS n' a verr competitif' timeslot.br /

  • “Hoe Ta Be a Gentlemun”

    strong”Hoe Ta Be A Gentlemun,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Nairy eve a'havin “T' Big Bang Theery” as a lead-n' could save thishere David Hernsby projeck, which onlee lastid three episodes.

  • “Hoe I Met Yer Moth'r”

    strong”Hoe I Met Yer Moth'r,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong CBS renewet “Hoe I Met Yer Moth'r” fer acoupla mer seesons n' March 2011, so fans a'ken look ferward ta bein strung along about t'itular moth'r’s idantitee fer a bit long'r.br /

  • “T' Mantalist”

    strong”T' Mantalist,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Altho t'shoe hit a seesen ratings loe n' t'middle o'Febuwary, its fanbase an' overall ratings wuz enough ta have it return fer anoth'r seesen.

  • “Mike Mollee”

    strong”Mike Mollee,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thanks ta un Emmy win an' Oscar nominashun, Melissa McCarthy is a Holleewuod pow'r play'r an' CBS is kee ta keep hern roun. Jes look at t'multiple pilots she has n' t'wurks as a behin t'ssenes play'r! “Mike Mollee” will be back fer a thurd seesen.

  • “NCIS”

    strong”NCIS,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong T' long-a'runnin procedural has becum a ratings juggernaut at a time wen mos shows start sheddin viewers. Seesen 10 is noe happenin.

  • “NCIS: Los Angeles”

    strong”NCIS: Los Angeles,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strongRenewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere shoe has gone up n' t'ratings ov'r t'las cuple o'yeers, an' folk a'ken’t git enough o'L.L. Cool J an' Chris O’Donnell.

  • “NYC 22″

    strong”NYC 22,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere “Rookie Blue” clone frum executif' produc'r Robert DeNiro didn’t rilly move t'needle wen it premieret midseesen; CBS officiallee axet it wit three episodes lef ta air.

  • “Persen o'Innerst”

    strong”Persen o'Innerst,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Wit ratings matchyun' juggernauts like “Grey’s Anatomy” an' fans poppyun' up everwhar, we’ll be seein anoth'r seesen o'“Persen o'Innerst.”

  • “Rob”

    strong”Rob,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Canceledbr /
    strongWhy:/strong “Rob’s” spot aft'r ratings juggernaut “T' Big Bang Theery” probly wint a long way n' heppin it survif' ta see t'end o'its furst seesen, but at’s as fur as it’ll git.

  • “Rules o'Engagement”

    strong”Rules o'Engagement,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Thishere shoe has movet roun so much it’s hard ta rememb'r wen it’s un, an' wit six seesons und'r its belt it’s had quite a nice run. Despite slippyun' ratings an' t'aferemantyunet constant switcheroos, thar’s still a future fer “Rules o'Engagement.”

  • “Surviver”

    strong”Surviver,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus: /strongRenewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong O' emcourse/em we have “Surviver” a'kummin back fer anoth'r seesen. Whar else air we goin ta see pettee skwabbles an' insane behavier un sum o't' mos beeyootiful beeches n' t'worl?

  • “Acoupla an' a Half Menfolk”

    strong”Acoupla an' a Half Menfolk,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong Despite a less-thun-faverabull critickull response, t'revampet “Acoupla an' a Half Menfolk” keeps a'pullin n' respectabull numbers ever week. Ashton Kutch'r, Jon Cry'r an' Angus T. Jones will all return fer a Seesen 10.

  • “Und'rcov'r Boss”

    strong”Und'rcov'r Boss,” CBS/strongbr /
    strongStatus:/strong Renewedbr /
    strongWhy:/strong T' inherent addictiveness o'thishere shoe has gone a long way n' securyun' loyal viewers — it has bee un top o't' ratings sevrul times thishere seesen alone.

Relatid un HuffPost:


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