“Yew mite be an Arkansas Mennonite Rednek if’n y’all have t’local taxidermist’s number on speed dial.”
Toniite’s episode o'“Amish Mafia,” wuz titlet “Doppel Lebe (Doubull Life).” T' episode cummences, whar it lef off wit Esth'r discoveryun' Levi’s doubull life n' Atlantic Citee. She tells t'producers at she has knowed 'im all hern life an' nev'r specktid thishere frum 'im. She splains at t'mer money he gits, t'mer it goes ta his'n hed. He nev'r wonts ta see 'im agin. She statid at if'n she is goin ta be treeted thishere way by Amish menfolk, she should be English, so she a'ken have sum fun.
N' Ohio, Wayne is waitin fer t'church ta see if'n Karrie a'ken join t'Amish church. Andrew an' Ruck walk into t'church wit uther Amish menfolk as Murry follows behin 'um as mer Amish wimmen an' Karrie ent'r t'church. She is ast ta step outside as t'vote is take. Andrew stan's up an' objecks an' states at Wayne is a'havin carnal relayshuns wit hern. Wayne tells 'im at thay air jes friens, Ruck also agrees at thar is mer ta thar relatyunship. Wayne knows at Merlin put these acoupla up ta thishere an' promises ta brang down t'wrath o'**** upon 'um.
As Levi returns he deman's at Alvin an' Caleb meet wit 'im. Wen he sees 'um he screems at Alvin fer a'tellin Esth'r whar he wuz. Wen he repriman'et 'um bof, Caleb defendet hissef an' Levi tore into 'im too. He tole 'im if'n he ev'r wantid ta wurk fer 'im, ta nev'r speek ta 'im at way. As t'pair took off, t'produc'r tride ta faller 'um, but thay would nairy stop.
John has bee a'lookin fer Esth'r, but cannot find hern. He decides ta check hern old trayler ta see if'n she is thar. The he wint roun t'communitee a'lookin fer hern, but nobidy had see hern. T' producers statid at repeeted calls ta hern had gone unansweret.
N' Ohio, Wayne is watchin Andrew’s trayler, becawz he knows at lessn Andrew is purrfeck, Wayne will find out, an' t'bes way ta check un un Amish mun is ta watch thar trayler. As a taxi pulls up ta Andrew’s trayler, he gits out. Wayne knows at wen taxis pull up ta un Amish trayler verr late, it onlee meens one thang.
N' Lancast'r, Levi sees at private investigater agin parkd along t'road. He tells t'guy he will have 'im arrestid becawz he has 'im un camera. Wen he sees Castline, he pulls 'im ov'r an' deman's at he gits thishere private investigater off his'n ***. Castline has nuthin ta do wit t'guy an' tells Levi nairy ta talk ta 'im at way. Castline the states at Levi is a'gettin unravelet an' will start ta make mistakes.
Jolin has returnt frum Wiskunsin. Levi callt 'im back becawz o'a seriyus sitchuwayshun n' t'communitee. He calls togeth'r, John, Jolin an' Big Steve ta tell 'um at a strip joint has bee set up by English guys ta watch Amish gurls take thar clothes off. Thay move frum place ta place so thay air hard ta pin down. Howev'r, Levi insists at thay air shut down fer good.
N' Ohio, Wayne is noe out ta git Andrew an' wonts ta proov ta t'bishop at he is nairy a true mun o'Gawd. He brings un unidantifiet mun ta a bar whar Andrew supposedlee han's out un Saturdee nite drankin an' flirtyun' wit wimmen. Oncet thay see 'im goin inside, Wayne gives 'im a camera an' tells 'im ta go n' an' take pictures o'Andrew an' his'n dirtee deeds. Oncet he brings these ta t'bishop, Preech'r Andrew will lose faver wit t'communitee.
N' Lancast'r, Jolin is goin aft'r t'strip club whar English menfolk promiss Amish wimmen lots o'money. Jolin finds t'place, an' goes n' dresst like un Englishmun. T' producers suppliet Jolin wit a hidde camera. Jolin wuz onry wen he kum out an' tole t'produc'r it wuz bad. Noe he is goin ta git Steve an' John an' shut t'place down.
N' Ohio, Wayne goes roun a'puttin up pictures un trees so t'entire communitee a'ken see Andrew’s sinfil actyuns. The he goes ta t'bishop wit t'pictures, an' he is appallet.
N' Lancast'r, Steve, John an' Jolin crash t'strip partee an' come n' wit axes. Thay breek up everthang so thay do nairy return, as t'Amish wimmen run out fleeyun' fer thar lives.
N' Ohio, Andrew is goin ta see t'bishop who summonet 'im. Wen he confrontid 'im wit t'pictures, he wuz banishet frum Ohio an' tole ta nev'r shoe up agin. Noe Andrew knows whut tangleeun' up wit Merlin will do.
N' Lancast'r, Levi summonet Jolin ta his'n huntin cabin; he has no idee why. Wen Jolin arrivet, Levi gut a phone call an' had ta leeve. T' produc'r ast 'im why Levi lef, but he had no clue. Un t'elavishun noose, it wuz announcet at Esth'r *******'r, a star o'Amish Mafia wuz beete an' had a broke nose, facial bones an' sevrul teeth. She statid at she met thishere guy wen she wuz out wit hern English friens. He seemt charmyun' an' purrfeck, but he had rage issues. He beat hern up an' the would nairy leeve hern side fer fer days. Oncet he lef hern alone, she wint ta t'pleece. Levi kum ta see Esth'r an' put his'n arms roun hern an' thay hugget without a'sayn't a wurd.
She the tole 'im at she had a car an' un apartment, a slew o'English friens she met along t'way, an' she gut n' wit t'rong folk. Levi promissd ta protect hern an' nairy let innythang happe ta hern. She relatid at n' t'hospital, she wuz tole at one mer punch, an' she would have lost hern eye. She showd hern broke teeth an' splained hoe hern nose wuz broke an' facial bones n' hern face wuz broke n' acoupla places. Levi ast hern if'n hern fambly knew about thishere, an' she tole 'im John wuz un his'n way ov'r. She knows at Levi duz nairy want ta talk ta hern, but he tole hern nairy ta wurry about t'pas rite noe. Wen John arrivet, he tole hern it is time thay all quit t'English stuff. Esth'r relatid anoth'r stery whar hern life wuz threatend by a mun wit a knife. The Levi tole hern ta go upstairs so he an' John could talk n' private.
T' noose tole t'stery o't' mun’s arrest who beat up Esth'r. Thay did nairy gif' his'n name here, but did un t'noose. Levi met wit his'n menfolk an' tole 'um about Esth'r, the she tole 'um hoe t'English life wuz hern ruinashun. Thay the promissd ta keep t'English frum cerruptyun' t'Amish.
John wuz waitin n' a field, as a figger walkt toward 'im, it wuz Freemun. The wint ta see Esth'r an' wen Freemun saw hern, he spoke an' ast hern who did thishere ta y'all? Wen she would nairy anser, he jes yellt as loud as he could n' ang'r.
Castline knows at John stopt a'talkin ta 'im, but bleevs at Levi is plannin sumthin. He will seek out his'n informayshun n' uther ways. As Caleb is out collecktin Levi’s Amish Aid, Castline stops 'im ta talk ta 'im an' asks if'n he has innythang ta share wit 'im. Caleb tole 'im if'n he gits lonelee, he will call 'im. Castline states at he is goin ta applee preshure, an' hopes thay git sloppy an' he catches 'um.
As Levi’s crew plans ta go ta war agin thems who cerrupt t'Amish, thay reddy thayselves wit weepons, as t'seesen finale is nex week, fans will see jes whut thay have plannd.